You have an Aunt Flow? Oh…wait a second…

Eeesh.

I had emailed Rugrat’s mom last week to try to get a sense of what to get her for Christmas. Rugrat is coming down to visit me over the holidays and I wanted to make sure that I did whatever I could to make her happy.

After getting a couple of suggestions and ideas, I was hit with a bombshell:

“Oh and I am not sure if I mentioned it to you or not but “aunt flow” has arrived for Rugrat…lol!!!!! Be prepared for that visit…and be afraid….be very afraid.”

Yeah…

Okay, so my soon-to-be-11-year-old is already getting ‘visits’. I know it’s physically possible and all, but I really wonder if she’s ready for this type of body development. Hell…am I ready for this??

I’m borderline ready to order something like this just because I have no idea what to expect. I haven’t really gone into much detailed discussion with her mom about what she’s been told yet, but I’m going to assume it hasn’t been very much yet. I mean…she’s only 10.

Then I read this quote from the website:

“Share essential information with your 9-12 year old about her first mentrual period and prepare her for the changes ahead.”

OMG…NINE????

I realize I need to calm down about this. I mean, I’m only going to have her for a week or so. But still…I haven’t the foggiest idea what to do if something happens. I don’t know what to say if she starts asking questions. I’m not sure how to react if her hormones already start raging out of control.

The answer to all this? RESEARCH!!

This is what I found from an AWESOME online article on the subject:

• The first few months of menstruation are unpredictable. She may get some bleeding one month for a few days, and then WHO KNOWS when it will come again. The idea, though, is to be prepared (both me AND her).
• There can be some pretty scary-looking stuff mixed in there. Blood clots are common and can sometimes be the size of quarters. They can also be very dark and solid, too. It’s important to know this because I don’t need to rush my daughter to the hospital unnecessarily.
• To dispose of pads, just roll them up with the glue facing outward…then wrap it up in toilet paper. (Umm…GLUE??)
• It’s typical for a teenage girl to have heavy “discharge”…so if I happen to get a “sunny-side up” view of her dirty underwear, I shouldn’t question her hygene habits.

So there it is. These are things a single dad should probably know if their pre-teen daughter starts getting her monthly visits. Believe me…I’m scared. I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s the next step towards womanhood for my little girl…and I never wanted that day to come, if I can be honest with you.

Is there anything else I should know? What if she asks questions? How can I make her feel more comfortable around me if this should happen?

Quite the conversation

I’m pretty sure that Sunshine will also be writing about this, but I figured I should make my feelings known right away.

I’m in love with this woman.

See, she’s been wanting to get on my daughter’s good side, especially with Rugrat’s impending Christmas visit. And because I fully anticipate Sunshine being a long-term staple in my life, I want the two of them to get along, as well.
The barrier has been that Rugrat was concerned that she would lose my ex-wife from her life. My ex loves my daughter so thats never going to happen, but I can understand why she could think that way.

So Sunshine’s idea was to contact Rugrat’s mom and talk to her about Christmas ideas. After confirming with Rugrat’s mom that this was all okay, her and Sunshine swapped communications back and forth. This is the reply that Sunshine received today:

“Sunshine, I do have some good news for you. Rugrat and I had a camp out in our living room last night and had a girlie night, and we had a great talk about you and CBG. Rugrat is excited now to meet you and hopefully your children. She actually said to me, ‘She has two kids…oh my god, if my dad marries her I will have so many sisters’…lol. I asked her why she had such a sudden change of heart and she told me that one of her friends parents are going through almost the same thing and her friend loves it. So, that should lmake you feel 10 times better and CBG, as well. I have shown her some photos of you and CBG together and she said the same thing…he looks happy. Her words: ‘My dad looks goofy sometimes.’

I trust CBG, and I could not be happier for the both of you and I wish you two the best of luck. I am glad that I could help. If you have any more questions please feel free to contact me.”

I honestly don’t know who I’m more proud of; my ex or Sunshine.

I mean, my ex is phenomenal for being so accommodating and understanding about all of this. She and I have been split up for 10 years now and her husband is a great guy…the three of us always seem to get along just fine. So for her to be so welcoming and encouraging of my relationship with Sunshine is a really special thing because she knows I wouldn’t introduce just anybody to my kids.

With Sunshine, I couldn’t be happier that she is this intent on being a part of my life. I’m pretty sure most girlfriends would wait until my daughter showed up over the holidays and try to win her over then. But Sunshine is actually contacting Rugrat’s mom just to get a better understanding of who she is and what she may really want for Christmas.

I’m just blown away by the whole thing, to be honest.

I guess I don’t really have much more to say than that. I’m very happy that Rugrat’s mom is so cool with everything, and I’m more in love with Sunshine today than I was yesterday.

I cannot wait to spend the holidays with all of my favourite girls in the same place.

Fakin’ It

I wrote a little ditty on the female orgasm over at Hot Dads, so I would love for everybody to go and check it out!

Fakin’ It

Confessions from a Cubicle

Sometimes I drift off at work a bit. It’s not like I actually fall asleep or anything…I just let my mind wander. But sometimes on a break or during lunch I’ll hear or read something online that sticks with me.

It’s been awhile since I’ve had enough downtime during the day at work to actually write down some random comments, but today is the day.

Why today? Danged if I know. But what I usually do is just jot something down and then finish these thoughts once I’m home. And for whatever reason, people seem to enjoy my random take on the world…

• The Rugrat is scheduled to come visit me over Christmas.
  

  Rugrat...growing up too fast?

  I haven’t seen her since March and I’m already stoked. I miss her tremendously.  I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she mentioned some Nintendo DS game…and of course, her mom emailed me and told me that she wants to cut back on the DS games because she’s always telling her to “get off of that thing” (#thatswhatshesaid…heh).  But still, to spend the holidays with my daughter never fails to bring a huge smile to my face.  What’s more is that Sunshine will hopefully be able to visit me on Christmas Day, too…maybe even joining my family for a holiday supper. While still another month and a half away, I’m really excited for the holidays this year. It just seems that so much in my life is coming together (finally). I can’t really complain. Well I could, but I’m still waiting on that lottery win.

• John Allen Muhammad died at 9:11pm EST on Tuesday night.

  

  John Allen Muhammad

  I remember watching CNN during the time he and his accomplice, Lee Boyd Malvo, were terrorizing the greater Washington, DC area. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to try to get through your day…driving to work, getting groceries, picking up the kids, filling up the gas tank…and to be in constant fear of being shot and killed by a hidden sniper with no apparent agenda. He killed 10 people and wounded 3 more, all the while taunting police with written messages and phone calls. I’m not much of a political guy, but I firmly believe that this guy deserved the death penalty.

• I have a couple of new obsessions when it comes to TV land. Three of them, in fact…
• Glee - This show makes me smile each and every time I see it. Not only is it a comedy, but the music is primarily geared towards people in my age bracket (c’mon…Journey, Billy Idol, Neil Diamond, Bon Jovi, Sisqo, Young MC…it’s not just for kids, people). The music really is incredible and I have found myself downloading singles from iTunes and enjoying them more than I probably should. Most of the actors come from Broadway and there isn’t an untalented cast member among them. It’s like a combination of Fame meets Beverly Hills 90210 meets Arrested Development. I just love this show.
• Mantracker - This, no doubt, is a “manly” program. One guy on a horse, along with a local guide, chases after two people running for their lives. Okay…they’re not really running for their lives, but this show is in its fourth season and I’m just hopping on the bandwagon now. I love this guy, the people they choose for him to chase, and the locations they choose to set things up. From British Colombia to Newfoundland to California to Hawaii (the website is asking for applicants on the island now), this is becoming an international phenomenon…even if it’s only seen in Canada (is it seen in the U.S. yet?). Most people, Sunshine included, roll their eyes when I bring up this show and attempt to describe it to them. I was the same way at first, but after two or three episodes I was hooked.
• Destination Truth- Unfamiliar with this show? Basically, it’s a group of researchers who go around the world attempting to find proof of unusual stories and/or phenomena. Examples include attempting to find scientific evidence of a yeti, the Bermuda Triangle, and even the curse of King Tut’s tomb. They take cameras and microphones and other scientific devices and attempt to do what Grant and Jason have done for ghosts…prove or disprove them based upon evidence, not hype. What I really love about this show is the host, Josh Gates. He’s got a likable quality to him and he can crack a sarcastic joke in just about any situation…whether he’s getting held-up at an airport in Turkey or lost in the middle of the Amazon jungle at night, he never fails to entertain. 

• Wait…Fergie is a lesbian??  

  

  She loves the lovely lady lumps

  This is honestly the first I’ve heard of it! Not that it’s a big deal either way, but I just find it oddly fascinating and a bit exciting. She recently did an interview where she not only proclaimed her bisexuality (“I’ve had a lot of fun with women, and I’m not ashamed of it.”) but also explained how she had to go to therapy to truly understand that she’d still be cheating on her husband if she was with another woman. Oh…really? Is that a fact?? Ya don’t say?? I have NEVER understood the whole “I’m a bisexual woman so I can be with another woman and not cheat on my man” thing. If he doesn’t agree to it, it’s cheating. Period. Do you really need therapy to come to that conclusion??? Now having said that…I’d like to stress that as long as the husband has no issues with it and approves, then it’s not cheating in my eyes. So…y’know…if Sunshine ever got any ideas, I’d certainly be open to the possibilities. But that’s all I’m sayin’…lol.

• Being a huge fan, I am relieved to find out that Aerosmith aren’t breaking up afterall. The “unofficial official” reply from Steven Tyler? “There’s absolutely no validity to rumor that Aerosmith is breaking up, muthaf*cka!” Heh…you stay classy, Steven Tyler.
• OMFG I can’t wait to see Avatar. Wow.
• On a day like yesterday (i.e. Remembrance Day in Canada and Veteran’s Day in the U.S.), it was nice to read a wholesome story about a reservist and his near-brush with being robbed. Yes, kids…the unnamed 21-year-old reservist was being robbed by four thugs early Tuesday morning on his way home from work. He was told to lie down in an alley and a guy was placed on the back of his neck. But in “After School Special” fashion, the leader of the 4-man gang saw the reservists’ Army ID he ordered the gang to not only return his personal items, but also walked up to the guy and gave him a “fist-bump”. Yes, Virginia…there is a Santa Claus, afterall.

• I’m in a football pool with a group of guys at work.

  

  My fantasy football excuses

  The guy in first place doesn’t follow football and has only been in hockey pools up until this year. He picks players based on a whim and really doesn’t have any clue what he’s doing. I am frustrated to no end. I pour over stats and toggle back and forth on my picks every single week and I’m stuck at an unimpressive 3-6 while he sits pretty at 8-1. BAH!! Thank goodness I can still make the playoffs.

• Saw that Michael Jackson movie with Sunshine last weekend.  Y’know, the guy might have been scrawny but he was FAR from sickly.  I was impressed beyond belief.  The man could sing and dance circles around 99% of the “artists” out there today.  Yeah…he still had it.  What a horrendous shame that he had to die so young.  I’m really hoping that the doctor(s) who attributed to his death are brought up on charges of some kind, because this whole situation just isn’t right.  I don’t care who you are or how much money you have, you shouldn’t be having doctors throwing around perscriptions like they’re candy.  That’s just insane to me.  If they can’t get a homicide charge to stick, surely they can get some drug charges to stick and remove this guy’s license.  Those thoughts aside, if you’re a remote fan of MJ then you’ll probably really enjoy this movie.

Ahhh…these are just some of the things that popped into my head at work yesterday.

I Want Joint Custody…What Next?

How can I bring up that I want more custody?

When The Ex and I split up almost three years ago, we had both agreed that joint legal custody was the best way to go.  She wanted full-time custody of the Ankle Biter and we would both have a say in decisions that would affect his future.  As time went on and I became a better father (I really wasn’t the best when we split), I mentioned from time to time that eventually I would want more custody.  Her reply was that it probably would only confuse him as a baby and a young toddler, but we  would revisit it as he got older.

Ankle Biter is now three years old.  I’m at a point in my life where I feel fully confident in my parental abilities, even if I make mistakes from time to time.  I’m now at a point where I would love to look into a 50/50 custodial arrangement.

My decision is not out of venom or anger.  This isn’t a decision meant to hurt or punish The Ex in any way.  It’s simply me not wanting to just be an “every other weekend dad” when it comes to my son.  He and I share an awesome bond and I would love to be able to spend more time with him.

But here lies my dilemma.  I don’t want to cause any major issues with The Ex.  I don’t want to do anything that would cause her any pain or grief…and I don’t want this to come across as too selfish.

And is this even a good time?  I mean, should I wait until he’s a bit older before tackling the possibilities of 50/50 custody?  How can I approach it with The Ex without it blowing unnecessarily out of proportion?

I only say “unnecessarily” because this is, in fact, something that we have discussed…however briefly…a few times over the past year or more.  She knows how much I love him and want to have him more than I currently do.  So a further discussion shouldn’t really blow up in my face…

Should it?